Secrets of Eve, Hart, Weber, & Taylor
Sex does more to bring marriage together than anything else, but women usually do not want it when men do not treat them with respect.
Quality time in bed depends on quality time out of bed.
As most with everything in life, a bad marriage is better prevented than fixed.
Male sexuality is piffling— it dominates and controls the male.
Modern society thinks that sex equals love, and vice-versa.
So then, one of the most crucial problems facing the church today is that of sex and love.
Sexuality embraces everything that is sexual, not just the act itself.
Culture, with its mores and attitudes, has extreme power over sexuality.
Sex is now seen as a recreational activity, and more so in the future.
1/3 of Americans have sex 2x per week, 1/3 a few times a month, and 1/3 a few times per year.
80% of the people surveyed in the Sex in America report have only one partner per year, but I wonder how in the heck modern Americans would agree with that, as we swap lovers like underwear.
3% of all adults have never had sex at anytime.
A strong correlation is between marital happiness and sexual satisfaction.
Sexual satisfaction is strongly related to duration, as orgasm also is corellated to duration in women.
Sexual satisfaction is strongly corelated with the frequency of thoughts about sex.
Sexual satisfaction is also corellated to the frequency of the act.
In church, what is not talked about (seex) is more debilitating than what is talked about.
Our children are left alone to figure out sex on their own because their parents have abdicated responsibility of it to the media.
It is possible, entirely possible, to be fully sexual and fully Christian at one and the same time.
God gave us sex to express love, become one, give pleasure, and receive pleasure, and reproduce.
Something comon does not equal something healthy, as our sexual promiscuity reveals.
Sexual desire is always present, though it may be dampened by what you put in your mind, or even heightened by what you put into your mind.
Good sex is the result of a good marriage, not vice-versa.
We wonder if we are normal sexually b/c of the stupid tv, the movies, and magazines that depict heinous behavior as typical.
People everywhere hunger for love and respect.
If you think everyone is doing what you are not, or feeling what you are not, you are wrong.
Most men have a substantially larger sex drive than most women.
Women only think about sex, usually, about 1x/week, whereas men think about sex every couple of minutes.
The frequency that women think about sex is connected to how often they have sex, which affects how often they think about sex; it is a self-feeding loop.
Most couples have sex 1x/week.
Men, in the majority of all marriages, want sex more often than it is given.
The frequency of sex for married women remains steady between once and thrice per week, with a downward trend with age.
38% of the book’ study group has sex 1x/week, and 32% maintain 2-3x/week.
A healthy flow of blood is essential to orgasms.
Both men and women take longer to reach maximum pleasure as they get older.
Finding energy for sex was the most cited reason for lack of it in their study, usually due to a lack of sleep, which is easily correctable.
Unresolved grief is another cause of low energy.
A major loss in life, from death or loss of relationship, takes from 1 to 5 years, no matter what people claim (“ahh, I am over it now”.).
Most women have to have direct clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm.
15 minutes of sex is usually adequate for women to have orgasms.
Manual stimulation of the body is proper for 2 loving people in a relationship.
There is nothing dirty about our sex organs if they are kept clean.
Masturbation is a fcat of life, so get over it.
People who have the most sex tend to masturbate the most as well, according to the Sex in America study.
61% of married men masturbate 1x/week, according to this study (hereafter “their study”)
Masturbation is only destructive when it is used to avoid your partner, when it is an addictive urge that is filled, and when lust is fostered for someone other than your spouse.
Sexual abuse invariably has destructive consequences on sexual behavior.
God created sex for us.
Never use sex to punish or manipulate your partner.
Women want to be close in the sexual act.
Intimacy is the catalyst in women for sex.
Women want to talk, touch, and feel love, with or without (maybe) expressing it in sex.
Women want to spend time with their partners, not fleeting moments.
Women want time for talking, not silence.
Married couples, however, tell each other 1,000’s of things without even talking!
Be an active listener with your partner.
Women want romance from their partner, or they will get it from the TV or close friends.
Romance begets romance.
Partners are not mind readers.
Women want to be able to say, “Not now”.
15% in the Sex in America study wanted sex only 1x/year, whereas 33% of women wanted the same.
Women want to be appreciated for more than sex.
Be superadoring and attentive after sex, so as to make the women feel loved, and then your motive cannot be challenged.
Most women interpret all loving-type gestures to mean only one thing: sex.
Affection that does not immediately lead to sex actually enhances it through normal hormonal pathways.
Women, by far and large, want to please their husbands, this book claims (huh?).
Couples who genuinely enjoy each other outside of sex have drastically better sex, and thereby a higher degree of marital satisfaction.
30% of the women in their study did not like the “mess” of sex.
Many men need to improve their hygene if they expect their females to be responsive to sex.
Sexual desire is not exactly consistent or predictable.
Women find that the pattern of resisting sexual overtures from their partner carries over from their first dates to their marriage.
As hunger prompts us to have sex, sexual desire prompts us to have sex.
4% of Christian women in their study reported no sexual desire— ever.
47% of men in their study reported a strong sexual drive, whereas only 22% of women the same.
Men tend to think about sex daily, which drastically less than they actually have it, whereas women think about sex 1x/week, which is ususally inline with how often they have it.
Normal sexual frequency is actually lower than most people think it is.
The frequency in their study is based on the ACT, not the desire.
Sexual desire is a prerequisite to sexual arousal.
People with low sexual desire turn themselves off.
So then, women with low sexual desire CAN do something about it.
Low sexual desire usually connotes the ideas that they focus on the negative of their partner, harbor resentment, maintain grudges, do not forgive, and have a bad attitude.
People create and atmosphere and environemnt that hinders their sexual expression most frequently.
Self-fulfilling prophecies are the oft reason for low sexual desire, and marital conflict also contributes.
Past painful experiences likewise inhibit sexual desire.
Physical changes and body image disrupt female thoughts about sexual desire.
A fear of intimacy also contributes to a lack of sex.
Problem with low sexual desire CAN be changed, but it takes commitment, time, & energy.
De-clutter your schedule to create time for sex (kill the TV).
Sexual desire in women can be increased by: prayer, rest, focusing on the positive in your partner, addressing health issues, exercise, and playfulness.
Mutual and multiple orgams is not realistic, so stop trying to pursue it.
Orgams is not exactly necessary for a pleasing sexual expoerience.
The outer vagina expands, and the vaginal opening contracts during a true orgasm.
Female structures expand almost as much as men’s do, but theirs takes place underneath the skin, whereas men’s take place outside the body, but the total size of their engorgement is no smaller than an erect penis.
In orgasm, women experience the sexual flush, erect nipples, and a pronouncedly pleasant feeling of relaxation and satisfaction.
The relationship between orgasm and sexual satisfaction is very strong.
Good sex takes time,no doubt, and most women take a LONG time to reach it.
Tips for women who are struggling with sex:
- think about it often.
- do not hurry sex, ever!
- get rest, and profuse amounts at that.
- do not use alcohol.
- stay focused.
- learn your own body.
- examine your beliefs about sex, sexual parts, and your body.
Most women need 15 minutes of penetration, 20% need 5 mintues, 15% need 30 minutes, and 2% need more than 45% in their study.
If you think “lets just hurry up”, or “this is taking too long”, it slows your orgasm down.
Relationships that are full of strife, bitterness, and conflict generally have poor sex.
66% of women cannot reach orgasm by intercourse alone.
The vagina itself has only about as much sensitivity as the testicles on men, so imagine trying to reach orgasm only testicularly (whatever!).
It is not a constructive goal to desire simultaneous orgasms.
God designed our bodies to receive love, affection, and sexual fulfillment throguhout our entire lives.